The Twelve Days of Christmas: Day 9

Jeremy's Status Message Proudly Presents The Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the ninth day of Christmas, that person who always tried to read the Sunday comics out loud to you gave to me:

"So, there are these nine stick-figure ladies dancing in a Rockette line and this guy says to the first one, 'Are you chicks?' and she's like 'We are LADIES, thank you very much!" so the guy says "I couldn't tell" and the lady yells back, "WE'RE STICK FIGURES, YOU IDIOT!" The guy responds, "I know. You should really eat something."

"There's this guy alone in a stable with a cow. The guy checks his watch, waits some more and checks his watch again. Finally he says, "Where are they?" to which the cow responds, "They're still working on the pigpen."

"This guy is standing by a pond and he sees these seven poorly drawn little ducks swimming. He says, 'Man, you guys are ugly! Where are the swans?' to which one of the ducks responds, 'Just give us some time...'"

"There's a man standing in front of six doors, all of which are dressing rooms with 'GOOSE' written under a big star on the door. Each door has a necktie hanging from the doorknob, and the man asks aloud, 'Is this comic appropriate for all viewers?'"

"A guy is standing in a Burger Hut and his tray has a burger and soda on it. He's holding a container of onion rings and yelling at the person behind the counter, 'You call this a large? I only got five!!!'"

"A guy is sitting at a poker table and he thinks to himself 'This is it! This is the perfect time to bluff!' He then says aloud, "I'm all in!' to which four birds immediately respond 'I call!' The man is clearly dejected with his head in his hands and one of the birds whispers to another, 'Should we tell him we read his thought bubble?'"

"Three chickens stand atop a giant castle wall of some sort, and one of the chickens is yelling to the others, 'FECHE LA VACHE!'"

"Under the heading 'TMNTD', there are two large birds, each wearing a mask and martial arts gear. One has a giant staff and is labeled 'Dovetello' while another has two nunchaku and is labeled 'Dovelangelo.'"

"In the middle of a field, there's this tree with pears on it and sitting on a lower branch is a game bird, who asks the reader 'Can I be a turtle, too?'"

Explanation: As you may recall, due to the strike by the Writer's Guild of America, we at Jeremy's Status Message were forced to draw our own comic strip. Well, due to the rousing support by our readership, this tradition was supposed to continue. In fact, these comics were all designed and just awaiting the great artistic abilities of our wonderful staff. Unfortunately, in the process, we forgot that we don't actually have said artistic abilities, which really slowed down the drawing process. So, instead of spending our entire winter vacation staring at a blank sheet of paper, we opted for the above status message instead.