The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Whining

I am thirty-two going on thirty-three,
My back, it really kills.
My heel makes me gimpy, my shoulder is wimpy,
I need some more Advils!

Source: This is a rewrite of "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music. Special thanks to Mr. Rademacher, my middle school music teacher, for making us sing the songs from this musical over and over and over again.*

Explanation: I played volleyball last night and found out that I am one of only two people on my team who is under 50. Why do I not feel under 50? When did my body start breaking down like this? On the bright side, we won our match in five games (again) and remain undefeated at 2-0. I mention this because I fear it won't last.

*Note that this is the first time I have ever thanked Mr. Rademacher for anything in my entire life. It will probably be the last, too, so you'd better enjoy it.