You Are Getting Sleepy...

"I'm getting tired of all this napping."

Source: My wife, 7 1/2 weeks into her pregnancy.

Explanation: So, apparently one of the annoying symptoms of the first trimester of pregnancy is the inability to maintain consciousness for long periods of time. At one point, between naps, my wife complained about it and I thought it was particularly amusing.

Special Blog Bonus: Since I can't find anything else worth posting about napping, here's a George Costanza* tribute:



*See, there was a Seinfeld episode called "The Nap" where George took naps under the desk in his office at Yankee Stadium. This is where the Costanza link came from.

George is Dead

From the archives:

"Jerry this is Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back. BEEEEEP."

Source: This is from the The Caddy episode of Seinfeld.

Explanation: As always, there is a simple explanation. George gets locked out of his car, but is waiting for his new auto club membership to kick in before he seeks help. His car is in the parking lot at Yankee Stadium, where he works, and has been in the spot for several days. George Steinbrenner, the team owner, sees his car every morning when he comes in bright and early. Mr. Wilhelm, George's boss, sees the car late every night when he leaves. The two of them think George is working 18 hour days. George goes on vacation without telling his coworkers, but then remembers that there is a Chinese restaurant that leaves flyers on his windshield, so he recruits Jerry to go take them off. Jerry brings Kramer and the two of them discover a car covered with bird poop, so they take the car to the car wash. On the way back from the car wash, they see Elaine's friend Sue Ellen Mishke walking down the street with only a bra on. They are distracted and crash the car, but manage to get it back to George's parking spot in the Yankee Stadium lot. George Steinbrenner sees the car and thinks his devoted employee has been in an accident, but has still managed to fight his way into work. After a thorough search of the stadium, Steinbrenner cannot find George and proclaims him dead, at which point he pays a call to George's parents. Frank Costanza calls Jerry to tell him the bad news, but Jerry is not home, so he leaves the above message. See? Quite simple.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!!!

From the archives:

"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing."

Source: The Visa episode of Seinfeld

Explanation: While out to dinner, George tells Jerry to not be funny so his girlfriend won't think Jerry is funnier than he is. Jerry responds by deadpanning this monologue when George's date returns to the table.

More Importantly: Happy Birthday to us!

One year ago today, the internet welcomed a bouncing baby blog to its ranks. Have some LEGO cake to celebrate with us!*



In celebration of our birthday, the posts for last weekend are finally up! (here and here)

We at Jeremy's Status Message thank you for readership and support during our first year. Stay tuned for a bigger, better year ahead! Well, only one day bigger, but still...

*We look like a monkey and we smell like one too.

Get Your Festivus Shopping Done Soon

Only 18 shopping days left until Festivus!

Source: If you don't know about Festivus yet, it was a holiday created on the show Seinfeld. Of course, if you needed to know that, um... well, you probably missed the nineties altogether.



I'm really looking forward to the airing of grievances this year, 'cause I've got a LOT OF THEM!

Hello, Newman

From the archives:

"I'll tell you a little secret about ZIP codes. They're meaningless."

Source: Newman from Seinfeld, while trying to impress a woman.

Special Blog Bonus: Here's another Newman clip:

Evil Jeremy, I Know You're Out There!

Did you ever think that somewhere out there there was an evil version of you? You know, someone just like you, but evil. Take me for example. Imagine what this world would be like if there was some other "Evil Jeremy" out there who was also in the computer industry, was a pop culture junkie, worked out, played volleyball, and had a Sametime status message that he updated every day. Oh, and just for kicks, he'd have to have a goatee, too. Wouldn't that be crazy? And what if it turned out that he was the good one and I was the evil one? Man, I just blew my mind.

Special Blog Bonus: Evil Jeremy, if you're out there, you're probably running some sort of Status Message Theme Week with anagrams or something. That's just the kind of thing an evil version of me would do. So here's some food for thought:

FELT PETS

Here's a Seinfeld clip from Bizarro world:



You can find audio of Bender from Futurama contemplating the existence of a Parallel Bender here. Listen to clip 3.

George Does the Opposite

From the archives:

"Hi, my name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

Source: George Costanza from Seinfeld.

Explanation: Pretty much self-explanatory from the clip below. George does the opposite of every instinct he has, which lands him a great girlfriend who, in turn, gets him a job with the Yankees. One of the best Seinfeld episodes ever.

Special Blog Bonus:

Now We Know Why It Crossed the Road

"Let me understand. You've got the hen, the chicken, and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?"

Source: Frank Costanza from Seinfeld at a dinner table with George's future inlaws shortly after meeting them for the first time.

Explanation: I got a phone call the other day from someone asking me to help settle an argument about a very similar topic involving chickens, hens, and eggs.



Editor's Note: Jeremy's Status Message promises to get no more risqué than chicken sex. This is the worst you'll see. We promise. You can trust us.

Florida A&M Danced With Too Much Thumb Action Anyway

Great. Now that Niagara won, I have to rework my bracket again.

Explanation: Some idiot a few years back decided that the number of at-large bids to the NCAA men's basketball tournament should remain constant. So, when a new conference was added to the mix, the total number of teams was increased from 64 to 65 and a play-in game was added. Two average teams from mid-major conferences play for the honor of being destroyed by a top seed two days later. Most NCAA Tournament pools consider the winner of this game irrelevant. This year, Niagara topped Florida A&M for this honor. Welcome to the Big Dance, Niagara! Kansas awaits!

Special Blog Bonus: In honor of the Big Dance, here's Elaine Benes dancing: