Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Tough Lesson

From the archives:

You will learn a valuable lesson about strategic thinking after you write insults in your worst enemy's Advanced Judo handbook.

Source: This was one of my favorite horoscopes from The Onion way back when. I haven't been reading them lately, so they're all new to me! Oh joy! Here are a few I just stumbled upon:

  • Lady Luck will be on your side this week. Unfortunately for you, Lady Skill, Lady Experience, and Lady Applied Probability Theory won't.
  • Now that the hard part is over, all you have to do is sit back, relax, and hope that San Diego Zoo officials don't notice the uncanny physical resemblance.
  • You've never been very good with technology, making this week's unstoppable killing machine especially difficult for you to handle.
  • The stars foresee a time of great vagueness and something or other in your future. Also, there will be a chair.
  • Dyslexia may be a serious affliction, but so is abusing it in order to attain triple-letter scores when playing Scrabble.
You can see them all here.

Special Blog Bonus: This has nothing to do with anything (as usual) but it's important to know that the slumping economy touches everyone:

1 comment:

Willie Y said...

My Horoscope reads;Doctors will diagnose you with a new strain of tuberculosis this week, or "Poor Unsuspecting Bastard's Disease" as it'll come to be known.