Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Relish This!

Heinz can keep trying, but relish is NOT a squeezable condiment.

Explanation: The other day I made a hot dog and wanted some relish on it. All we had was one of those Heinz squeezable relish bottles, which I got on sale last time I needed relish. So, I invert the bottle over the hot dog and squeeze. What comes out? Pickle juice. Lots and lots of pickle juice. Now I have a hot dog with nothing on it in a bun saturated in pickle juice. Just great.

It comes down to the fact that relish - a condiment consisting of small, but solid pickle pieces is NOT squeezable. Ketchup is squeezable. Mustard is squeezable. Even mayonnaise is squeezable. Relish is not squeezable. Heck, it barely works in those little packets you get at the ballpark. I don't know why the powers that be insist that it is squeezable.

Special Blog Bonus: If you are into pickle juice and you don't have a "squeezable" bottle around, try one of these instead.


Willie Y said...

I feel your pain. Even the squeezable mustard if you do not shake it up, will give you a burst of mustard juice. Where are we headed, to a civilization that can know longer put knife into a jar of mustard. God help us!

Jack said...

Is pickle juice the real reason your car is covered in green slime?

Jeremy said...

Picklejuice, Picklejuice, Picklejuice!

Wait... Maybe that was "Beetlejuice."