Monday, June 30, 2008

Go Spain!

¡Viva España!

Explanation: Spain won the EURO 2008 soccer tournament yesterday (or this morning, if you watched the TiVo-delayed broadcast). I'm partial to Spain because I met my wife there while on vacation in an island paradise. Also because the Netherlands were already eliminated from the tournament.

As I watched the game this morning and realized that I might not be able to see the whole thing, I considered posting a "Do not tell me anything about the EURO 2008 final" status message. Then I considered my readership and decided that I'd better not chance it.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Here is Today's Post. Over.

From the archives:

[pant] [pant] Oh! Oh, don't flatter yourself, honey - I don't have any sweat glands!"

Source: This is from Family Guy where Brian (a dog) is out watching a soccer game and a woman thinks he is coming on to her because he's panting. Can you tell I'm hot this weekend?

Special Blog Bonus: Here's a good clip with Brian and Stewie and walkie talkkies:

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Pardon Me

From the archives:

Pardon me while I burst into flames.

Source: This is from the Incubus song Pardon Me. It's a great tune and I just liked the line.

Explanation: This weekend, however, it seems particularly appropriate. No, not the next line ("I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games"), but the weather. It's freakin' hot outside. So, should I spontaneously combust, it was nice knowing you. Have a nice life.*

*Except you, Luke Perry. You know what you did.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Smurf the Smurfing Casting Director

Should the Blue Man Group be upset if they aren't cast in the Smurfs movie?

Explanation: They're really the only blue people out there. It'd be a shame if they didn't get a part in the movie. Of course, I think they (much like the Smurfs) are freaky and weird) so I'm not going to include any video of them. As for the Smurfs, see if you can make it through this entire clip. I dare ya!

The Week In Links: I've seen some neat stuff on the web this week (mostly on Gizmodo), so here's a taste:

Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Subconscious Is Getting Smarter

According to my subconscious, there is now a bill that's actually worth 1/8 of $10. Consider yourself warned.

Explanation: So, last night I had a very involved dream. When I woke up immediately afterward, the whole thing was vividly in my head. One part I distinctly remember was receiving change for something, where I was due $18.25 and I received the change entirely in bills. There were $17 in normal denominations and then there was a bill with an "8" on it which represented 1/8 of $10. I have no idea why, but it did. I remember waking up and thinking, "Wow! I never get the math right in my dreams!" Apparently, my subconscious is getting smarter.

Anyway, this morning all I can remember is that I got the math right. This xkcd sums it up:

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Can They Do the Mashed Potato?

Dancing Space Potatoes? You Bet!

Source: This is one of the tag lines under the first screen in the Futurama intro. Did you miss the episode with dancing space potatoes? Too bad for you. Other lines include:

  • Mr. Bender's Wardrobe by ROBOTANY 500
  • Condemned by the Space Pope
  • This Episode Has Been Modified To Fit Your Primitive Screen
  • As Foretold by Nostradamus
  • Coming Soon To an Illegal DVD
  • 80% Entertainment By Volume
Special Blog Bonus: Here's a comic for you:

Planets Singularity Photo Album

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Late George Carlin Post

In honor of George Carlin, here are 7 words you CAN say on television: yarn, mittens, puppy, marshmallow, goldfish, happy, and waffles.

Explanation: News of George Carlin's death broke yesterday morning, and as a result, every blogger and their mother decided to post about him. Every George Carlin bit on YouTube has been seen thousands of times in the past 24 hours. Heck, you've probably seen them all, too.

Anyway, I'm jumping into the fray with a late post about a "late" guy. Everyone knows that Carlin did a bit about the seven words you can't say on television, so I decided to mention seven words that you can say. This makes my status message educational, family-friendly, and completely safe for use at work. Isn't it nice how that worked out?

Special Blog Bonus: Here's a George Carlin clip about baseball and football that you probably watched yesterday. It's still funny - watch it again.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Metric Post

My favourite part about the European soccer championships is how the players all give 0.1 kilopercent.

Explanation: It's just awesome to watch. Every player wants to win the championship, and they'll go the extra 1.61 kilometres to get there. They fight tooth and nail for every 2.54 centimetres. And with those kilosingles of fans behind them, rooting them on, it's quite a spectacle. Then, throw in games like this weekend's that went into extra time and shootouts: my heart was 0.45 kilogramming, and I wasn't even on the pitch with those guys. I can't wait until the semifinals start!

Special Blog Bonus: The new Death Star is available from LEGO. It's a mere 0.0004 megadollars - get one today before it's too late. Did I mention that it comes with (among others) LEGO Grand Moff Tarkin?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Halloween Humor... in June

From the archives:

"Caesar, a nun, and Pocahontas walk into a bar..."

Explanation: This isn't actually a joke, it's from Halloween of 2004:


See, Jim was Caesar, Cheryl was Pocahontas, and I was a nun. So there you go. If it was a joke, the punchline would involve the band members at the party getting into a fight and might also involve Super Grover. Just trust me on that.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Summer Vacation

From the archives:

And so, today, as I code away at my desk, summer vacation commences for the children next door. Luckily, I am a highly focused worker and things like this just don't bother... HEY, YOU KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

Explanation: Yes, my laser-like focus keeps me from being distracted by the neighborhood kids toilet papering my house, using the mulch beds along my driveway as a bicycle ramp, spinning my mailbox around so it's backwards, practicing their bike skids in my driveway, and (of course) attempting to pee in the potted plant in front of my house. Sadly, all of this stuff has actually happened. Luckily, most of it hasn't happened lately. Of course, school is out, so I'm happy to report that the kids will now have more free time to be creative. Hooray!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Snake Eyes To King's Knight Six. Check.

Fussball ist wie Schach, nur ohne Würfel.

Source: This quote is attributed to German footballer Lukas Podolski.

Explanation: Translated, Mr. Podolski said, "Football is like chess, but without the dice." Words of wisdom. I heard this on last week's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me when they referenced an article on famous German football quotations. Other gems include:

Mailand oder Madrid - Hauptsache Italien. (Milan or Madrid -- the most important thing is it's Italy.) - former midfielder Andi Möller

Es steht im Augenblick 1:1. Aber es hätte auch umgekehrt lauten können. (The score is currently 1:1. But it could also have been the other way around.) - German sports journalist Heribert Fassbender

Jetzt stehen die Chancen 50:50 oder gar sogar 60:60. (The chances are currently 50:50 or even 60:60.) - Former Bayer Leverkusen manager Reiner Calmund (whose IQ was once measured at 140 on a German television show)

Special Blog Bonus: Also on the show was this joke, told by Roy Blount, Jr:

Two men grew up in eastern Kentucky. One went off to make his fortune up North, while the other stayed home to run the farm and take care of the old folks. The one who went north prospered, was transferred to California, and rode the corporate ladder all the way to his company's presidency. Work kept him so busy, he never came back home to visit.

One day the one back home sent a wire, "Papa died. Funeral on Friday." The one in California wired back "Can't come. Must go to Japan for merger talks. Give Papa very best funeral, and send bill to me. Least I can do."

So, they buried Papa, and the company president got a bill for $8000. He paid it, and a month later he got a bill for $145. He paid it. The third month, he got another bill for $145. So, he called his brother and asked "What's with these $145 bills?"

His brother said, "Well, you said you wanted Papa buried in style, so I rented him a tuxedo."

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Third Day

From the archives:

"Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering just think of it like this: the third day. All right, Monday, one-day, Tuesday, two-day, Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day, okay?"

Source: Joey, from Friends, explaining how he remembers that something is on Thursday.

Explanation: Since I am out of the office today, a Thursday, I can finally re-run this message.

Special Blog Bonus: Here are some Joey clips to tide you over until I'm back in the office tomorrow:

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Early To Bed

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man completely miss the NBA Finals.

Explanation: This is really a status message in two parts. First of all, I'm frustrated that every single game of the NBA Finals, this "great" series between the Lakers and Celtics, started at 9:00 PM. I know there's an East/West coast balance at play here, but for me that's just ridiculously late for a basketball game to start.

The second factor here is that I've been working out lately, and as a result I'm ready for bed MUCH earlier than I have been in the past. Yesterday, for instance, I was ready for bed at 4:00. I held out for a while longer, but went to bed at 9:00, which is the earliest I've been in bed since my Sesame Street days. I managed a nice, comfortable nine and a half hours of sleep. I am refreshed and ready to take on the world today. Just don't ask me any questions after 4:00.

So, combine last nights Game 6 9:00 start time with my 9:00 bedtime, and I completely missed the deciding game.* The NBA. It's FAAaaaaaaazzzzz...

*Apparently, given their 39 point loss, the Lakers also missed last night's game.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My Streak is Broken

Curse you Citgo and your $4 gas.

Explanation: So, the other day I went to my favorite gas station, a Citgo right by my house. They always have the best gas prices around. On this particular day, I think the unleaded price was listed as $3.93 a gallon. I gave the nice attendant my credit card and told him to fill it up with the regular. He gassed me up, and when I looked at my receipt to see the damage (I'm a masochist sometimes) I saw that I had paid $4.01 a gallon. First and foremost, I was infurated. Until that moment, I had never paid over $4 a gallon for gas. That jerk bastard broke my streak. Then I checked the price on the big sign, just to make sure, and started to study the pump, trying to figure out if I had been given some sort of premium gas by mistake.

It was at that moment that my wife pointed out the word "Cash" on the big sign next to the "$3.93". Apparently, they now charge different amounts for gas if you use cash or a credit card. I'm mostly frustrated by the fact that I go to this gas station all the time, and the reason this caught me by surprise is exactly that. You'd think the nice attendant would mention (assuming he spoke English*) that they now charge more if you use credit. But nooo. Instead the little jerk bastard barely muttered two words to me and made me break my streak. Now we have to find a new favorite gas station.*

*All of the attendants don't speak much English, but the gas station compensates for its non-American ownership by proudly displaying around 45 American flags of varying sizes.

*My criteria are low low prices and many many American flags.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The PGA: It's Faaaaaantastic

I watched 18 holes of golf yesterday only to find out that there would be 18 more today.

Explanation: After waking up on Sunday morning to see highlights of Tiger Woods's amazing round on Saturday, I couldn't resist taking a peek at the final round of the U.S. Open yesterday. After all, Tiger came in to Sunday leading by one stroke, but was clearly bothered by his surgically repaired knee. So, I planted myself in front of the television, only to find that the final round of the tournament started a bit later than I thought it would because it was on the West Coast. As a result, I watched the final pairing play almost their entire fourth round. TOO MUCH GOLF.

On the bright side, my couch potatoation was rewarded on the 18th hole when Tiger, the last person on the course, sunk an ice-in-his-veins 12 foot birdie putt to tie Rocco Mediate for a share of the lead. Then, and only then, did the announcers mention that the U.S. Open playoff format is to go 18 more holes on Monday. So, after watching all of that great golf, I'll probably just end up reading about the exciting conclusion online. Yippee.

The moral of the story is to never watch more than the last 5 holes of a golf tournament... unless Jean Van de Velde is involved.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

It Happens

From the archives:

Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order though.

Source: This is a gem from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't really have much to say today, but hopefully pondering the quote should keep you busy for a while.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Tough Lesson

From the archives:

You will learn a valuable lesson about strategic thinking after you write insults in your worst enemy's Advanced Judo handbook.

Source: This was one of my favorite horoscopes from The Onion way back when. I haven't been reading them lately, so they're all new to me! Oh joy! Here are a few I just stumbled upon:

  • Lady Luck will be on your side this week. Unfortunately for you, Lady Skill, Lady Experience, and Lady Applied Probability Theory won't.
  • Now that the hard part is over, all you have to do is sit back, relax, and hope that San Diego Zoo officials don't notice the uncanny physical resemblance.
  • You've never been very good with technology, making this week's unstoppable killing machine especially difficult for you to handle.
  • The stars foresee a time of great vagueness and something or other in your future. Also, there will be a chair.
  • Dyslexia may be a serious affliction, but so is abusing it in order to attain triple-letter scores when playing Scrabble.
You can see them all here.

Special Blog Bonus: This has nothing to do with anything (as usual) but it's important to know that the slumping economy touches everyone:

Friday, June 13, 2008

Don't Hurt Me... Yet.

Please refrain from violence until my insurance policy is finalized. Thank you.

Explanation: As a financially responsible adult, I finally did the right thing and applied for life insurance. Any financial advisor will tell you that life insurance is important to ensure that your loved ones can continue on in financial security in case of your unfortunate demise. I, on the other hand, don't like betting in the first place, and betting on my own death seems just freakin' stupid. So there you have it. Both sides of the argument.

Anyway, yesterday the nice lady from the insurance company came to our house and took our vitals along with blood samples, so now our application for an insurance policy can continue on toward completeness.* For those of you who were planning any sort of violent attack in my direction, I kindly ask that you refrain until I have the appropriate coverage.

Special Blog Bonus: I know I've run a lot of Far Side comics lately, but "God at His Computer" seems too appropriate to pass up:

*At least, I'm pretty sure she was the nice lady from the insurance company. If she wasn't, then who was she and why did she want my blood???**

**I won't even mention the other sample she took.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I'm sorry I keep apologizing.

Explanation: The other day I apologized for something silly and my wife told me to stop apologizing. So, I apologized for apologizing too much. Then I giggled and ran upstairs to write this status message. See, if the little things in life amuse you, you won't be depressed by all of the big depressing parts. Oh look! Something shiny!

Oh, and I'm sorry this post is so short.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Last Day of School

The last day of school just seemed more exciting back when I actually got a summer vacation.

Explanation: Today is my wife's last day of school. Her students have been done since last Thursday, but in my household, let's face it - today is the big day. I get very excited about it. Hey, who doesn't get excited when school is out and summer vacation is beginning! All that free time, all that beautiful weather, it's like a three month blank slate with limitless potential... except for one thing:


For the next three months, I get to be the first person to wake up in the morning. I get to sneak around the house before work so as not to wake anybody else up so they can be well-rested for... well... resting. See, this is where telecommuting stinks. Imagine spending three months at work where your officemate doesn't have any responsibilities. That's kind of what it's like.

Well, I should mention that she'll take care of a lot of household chores, inside and out, and shop for me and does all sorts of nice stuff, but the fact remains, I am at work and she isn't.

Special Blog Bonus: What could possibly cheer me up? How about some Far Side cows?

Yep. They always seem to do the trick.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Comcast 1, Jeremy 0

It's all fun and games until the cable goes out.

Explanation: The other morning I was watching Sportscenter and suddenly my cable went out. I was briefly frustrated, but then I just picked up my cereal bowl, moved to the table, and read the most recent Time magazine until I was done with breakfast. I had already seen the NBA Finals recap, so there wasn't really much left to the show anyway, other than a zillion boring baseball highlights.

Happy at my ability to adjust to the new situation, I went upstairs to get started with my work day. That's when the terror struck. I have a cable modem.

It's one thing if I can't see the exciting brawl between the Red Sox and Rays. It's another thing if I can't do my job. Unable to load the Google page (my standard evaluation of internet connectivity), I freaked out for a bit and then decided to check the television again to make sure the cable was out. I turned it on and sure enough, there was a picture again. Good news: The cable was back. Bad news: My computer didn't know it.

So, I began the 10 minute process of unplugging my cable modem, my telephone adapter (thanks to VOIP, I now have another link in the delicate chain of internet connectivity), and my router, plugging them back in one by one, and waiting. After ten minutes or so (and a reboot of my home machine), I had connectivity.

At this point, I might be tempted to complain that if Comcast spent a little more time maintaining my service and a little less time calling me three times a week to offer me their Triple Play package, maybe I'd be a little happier with their company. But, I won't. I'm a bigger person than that.

Special Blog Bonus: Moving right along, here's a Far Side comic for you:

Far Side Sheep Dip

Monday, June 9, 2008

Three Chairs for Cheer!

Two pillows and a new desk chair cost significantly less than a lower back MRI.

Explanation: In January of 2007, I had a lower back MRI because of a pain that just wouldn't seem to go away. The doctor saw a slightly bulging disc, which isn't really a red flag, and nothing else. He told me I could do physical therapy, but it probably wouldn't help. So, I just lived with the pain.

Then, several months later, I stumbled upon an article on my favorite weightlifting web site called (De)-Constructing Computer Guy: The Other 23 Hours. It's pretty much about how to work on a computer all day and not destroy your body.

In the article they list 23 tips, many of which were things I was definitely not doing. I was embarrassed when I saw tip number 10 was to "sit all the way back in your chair" and I was sitting on the edge of my chair. So, I adjusted and moved on to tip 11, which said not to "hook your feet under your chair" which also happened to be doing at the time. At that point I started looking around for whoever was playing the joke on me, fully expecting that tip 12 would be to "stop looking around, Jeremy."

All of the tips were good things to know, but the most important tip I took from the article (#5) was to "try sleeping on your side with a body pillow between your knees or on your back with a pillow beneath your knees (to help flatten out your lower back)". I tried it, and a few days later (I'm not very perceptive) I noticed that my back didn't hurt at all. I now swear by the pillows, but over the past few months my back had started to get bad again and I decided my crappy desk chair was responsible.

After a trip to Staples and 30 minutes of assembly and profanity, I now have a new desk chair! My back feels great - I'm doing things I haven't been able to do for months, like spending five hours this weekend bent over, doing garden work in 100 degree heat. Hey, I didn't say I was smart, I just feel better. Three cheers for my new chair!

If only I was smart enough to try this stuff before I dropped $500 for the MRI, huh?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Death-Defying Dave

From the archives:

"Well, I wouldn't have necessarily tried that complex a trick on an unfamiliar ramp, but then again, that's why they call him Death-Defying Dave. He'll be back, but first he has to rest up for a few months with a broken femur..."

Source: Sadly, the actual source of this quote has been lost in the annals of history. In other words, I can't find it on Google. If anyone out there knows the source, by all means let me know.

Special Blog Bonus: Sorry, but no bonus today. I'm not really a "stupid mishap" video kind of guy, but I would wager you can spend the next 45 minutes on YouTube watching Darwin's theory at work.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

War, What Is It Good For?

From the archives:

Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.

Source: This quote is the disclaimer from the end of the Bart the General episode of The Simpsons. Come to think of it, I haven't had a good Simpsons post in a long time.

Special Blog Bonus: Here's a Star Wars themed Simpsons intro:

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Sweet Sounds of Camden

On a quiet night in our neighborhood, you can actually hear Camden.

Explanation: The other night it was nice enough to leave the windows open and I could hear a fireworks show in the distance. I told my wife, "It's such a quiet night you can actually hear Camden from here!" I thought the joke was pretty amusing. I was the only one who did.

Explanation of the Explanation: For those of you who don't know, Camden is a city near (but not too near) us which is routinely ranked as one of the most dangerous cities in the United States. It has been ranked #1 on that list as recently as 2005, but currently sits at #5 behind Detroit, St. Louis, Flint, and Oakland.

Explanation of the Explanation of the Explanation: If you still don't get it, I was implying that the explosions were battles waging within Camden. The thought of crime in a city escalating to the point where people are using mortar shells and other heavy explosives (plus the usual gunfire) amused me. For the record, as I type this I can see why my wife didn't laugh.

Special Blog Bonus: Here's a blog you should check out. It's about optical illusions. Really neat stuff.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Greener Than Green

Ironically, the red arrow would have been greener than the green arrow.

Explanation: There is a traffic light near my house that was recently upgraded to include left turn arrows. Since a left turn is required at that light in order to get to my house, I was very excited when it was installed. In fact, because of the curve in the road beyond the light, you often see what you believe to be a distant gap in oncoming traffic and then when you are about to make your turn you realize that the gap has been filled by an SUV that would have done a wonderful job of flattening your Honda. But I digress.

The other day, I was cruising into this intersection and the light was red. I knew that if I got there in time, I would trigger the green arrow, allowing me to turn left before anybody else got a crack at the intersection. I was in no hurry to get home (which is only about a quarter mile from the light) but I was excited at the prospect of getting to go before everyone else. I reached the stop line and awaited my fate. As the arrow turned green, I pumped my fist to celebrate my victory and rolled happily through the intersection while the rest of the traffic waited for their green light. Suddenly I felt a bit guilty. Here I was, in my fuel efficient car, zipping through the intersection so I could get home 30 seconds earlier while at least ten cars had to wait an additional thirty seconds before they could continue on their respective travels. Ten cars idling for thirty seconds - that's five total minutes of car idle time so I could trim 30 seconds off of my trip.

It occurred to me that it actually would have been better for the environment had I waited a few car lengths behind the stop line so as not to trigger the green arrow. There were only five or so cars in the oncoming traffic lane, so I would have had no troubles making the left turn, and as I said, I was in no hurry to get home.

The moral of the story: Sometimes a red arrow is more "green" than a green arrow.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Thrice the Blades, Thrice the Danger

See, the problem with a triple-blade razor is that now you get three razor nicks instead of one.

Explanation: In case you've been living under a rock for the past ten years, you've probably noticed that the number of blades offered on razors is increasing rapidly. Here's a nice little graph* of the number of blades per razor available to the general public since the invention of the safety razor in 1895.

As the number of blades per razor rapidly approaches infinity, a scary truth has remained unspoken. Sure, the multiple blades give you a smoother shave, but the multiple blades also mean multiple danger should you slip with the razor. The other morning I was half awake while shaving (as I usually am) and my hand slipped, giving me two very nice parallel slits in my cheek which bled profusely and forced me to spend the morning with toilet paper embarassingly wadded to my face. Still, I feel blessed knowing that my three-bladed Gilette did only two-thirds of the damage it was capable of. For those of you who think better graphically, here's what razor nicks look like for two, three, and four blade razors, plus a scary glimpse of what the future has in store for us. Beware!

*My graph is based on real live actual data. Gillette introduced the safety razor (one blade) in 1895, the Trac II (two blades) in 1971, and the Mach III (three blades) in 1998. Then Shick threw the Quattro (four blades) into the market in 2003, followed by Gillette's Fusion (five blades) in 2007.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Mrs. Prince

If Madonna married Prince, would she change her name? If so, to what?

Explanation: Not much to explain here, it's just something I've always wondered. Of course, ever since Prince changed his name to that symbol and back, now people can claim that she would change her name to "The Artist Formerly Known As Madonna". I don't see that happening, though.

Here are a few other potentially interesting celebrity marriages:

  • What if Sarah Jessica Parker had married Richard Lewis? She'd be Sarah Jessica Parker-Lewis. It can't lose!
  • If Vivica Fox had married Tiger Woods, she'd be Vivica Fox-Woods. I'd bet on that marriage!
  • If Keira Knightley married Tim Daly, she'd be Keira Knightly-Daly. That marriage would work any time!
  • If Ivana Trump were to marry Dane Cook, she'd be Ivana Cook. Get that woman an oven! (Or get that woman a personal chef!)
I'm sure there are better celebrity marriages out there, and I know you loyal readers can do better. Post those comments!

Special Blog Bonus: If you have a spare minute, instead of marrying celebrities, you can just combine them. Check out MorphThing. I played with it quite a bit. They don't have a picture of Prince, so I couldn't morph him with Madonna. (I did morph her with Prince Charles, though) For your amusement, here's a combination of George W Bush and Gollum:

Gollum and George Bush Faces Combined Together -

Monday, June 2, 2008

You Know You're a Nerd When

You know you're a nerd when you check the FedEx website to see if your package was delivered instead of walking to the front door and checking the porch.

Explanation: Well, let me first mention that I got an email last week saying that something I ordered was being shipped. Excited about my impending delivery, I immediately checked the tracking site only to discover that it had actually been shipped two days before and was already on the truck for delivery. I love it when that happens!

After a workout and quick shower at lunchtime, knowing that I might have missed the doorbell, I checked the FedEx website to see if my delivery had come yet. It hadn't, but after I checked their site I realized that I could have gone and checked the front door, instead.

This reminds me of the time I was in college and had a service emailing me the daily weather. My family came to visit, and when asked what it was like outside, I went to my computer to check my email. My sister went to the window and looked. I still argue that I gathered more information from my email (high/low temperatures, forecast) than she did from her observation (current conditions), but I really can't argue against my nerdiness.

Special Blog Bonus: Here are two important reminders on how to turn off that pesky computer from Bloom County and the Banana Jr. 6000:

Sunday, June 1, 2008

There Can Be Only One

From the archives:

To Quicken addicts, the first of the month is like Christmas.

Explanation: My name is Jeremy, and I'm a Quicken addict. I'll refrain from going into any more explanation about my addiction in fear that you might think less of me than you already do, but it suffices to say that the first of the month is a great day, because you can punch in all of the interest you earned in the previous month. Of course, when the first of the month falls on a Sunday (like today) it's technically not as exciting because some end-of-month transactions (like paydays) have to happen on weekdays. Still, today is a good day for the Quickening.

Special Blog Bonus: So, in an ideal world, I'd be able to find some YouTube clip about Highlander that features vocals of the one and only Freddie Mercury. And in that ideal world, the clip would also involve LEGOs... and Darth Vader.