Tuesday, October 2, 2007

A Little 'Tussin Goes a Long Way

If I seem a little loopy today, it's the cough syrup.

Explanation: All of these bats flying around my office are making it very difficult to focus, and if you combine that with the fact that they're wearing little party hats and playing mariachi music, and that my monitor just melted again and I'm typing this with my mind, which is a good thing, since my fingers are playing 5-on-5 basketball on the floor right now, it leads to the start of a very interesting day, especially considering that the leaves are falling up and the sun is both rising and setting simultaneously and the Phillies are in the playoffs. The cough syrup bottle said not to operate heavy machinery, so I don't think I'm going to be able to stop the dog from driving that bulldozer down the hallway, which is unfortunate, because we don't have a dog and the hallway isn't big enough to accommodate both the dog and the ten giraffes standing there like bowling pins with those clocks melted over their backs while the Cirque do Soleil performers are chased from giraffe neck to giraffe neck by American Gladiators.

Special Blog Bonus: At least I didn't mix my cough syrup with a Guatamalan Insanity Pepper.

*Interesting note: I wrote "rising and setting simultaneously" before I looked for the Simpsons clip and realized they do a sun bit in there. So, either I think WAY too much like the Simpsons or I subconsciously remember more of their material than I think I do. Either way, it's kind of scary.


Willie Y said...

Welcome to the sixties man, now you know what a groovy scene that was man. Isn't it a gas to have a blast and not a bummer. Yea everything is copacetic, you dig. It sounds far out dude.But don't freak out man because you are all hopped up and your old lady might find out.

As Robin Williams say "If you can remember the sixties you weren't there."

Heather said...

My "corporation" just made us review and sign with a WITNESS the new drug and alcohol policy. We must alert our supervisor if we:
Are under the influence of any OTC medication that might cause drowsiness, etc.
Or are experiencing any adverse conditions (muscle soreness, fatigue) that might affect our performance DAILY.
We plan to line up at John's (supervisor's) door tomorrow and inform him, as per board policy, that we all are under the influence, are fatigued, have muscle cramps and are unable to not stop ourselves from adversely affecting the next idiot who writes such a policy!
We are also not allowed to have a drink on our own time if we will have "child contact" at work 4 hours later. There will be NO adults at Project Graduation which comes 2 hours after the staff end of year party...

Jeremy said...

Is it null and void if your witness was under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol at the time?

Heather said...

My witnesses were invoved in a discussion during said meeting, about "the day after that Yankees game..." which involved one of my co-workers feeling unwell in the teacher's room, while the rest of my department covered his classes. The "witness" who drove him in that day? No longer a teacher..he's our supervisor.
I went in this morning and reported that I had taken a Flintstone's chewable vitamin. Which sometimes give me headaches. On account of the Iron. Or maybe the headache is my period 11 class. Hard to tell if it was Fred or Jaleel..May I be excused?