Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Stay Off the Juice, Kids

Remember kids, steroids are bad for you.

Explanation: Just a friendly public service message from all of us at Jeremy's Status Message to you in this new year. We know you have a new year's resolution to lose those extra pounds, get in the gym and snap yourself into shape, but steroids are not the answer. Sure, you may have an upper bowel inflammation, an eye injury leading to blurred vision, or a systemic reaction to poison ivy, but this miracle drug isn't as miraculous as you might think. It can do more harm than good. Stay off the juice, kids!

Think you can't get big without steroids? Look at Uncle Walt. He's totally clean (assuming Tastycakes and Diet Coke aren't performance-enhancing drugs) and he can squat six people:

EDITOR'S NOTE: As we are currently covered with a rash due to an allergic reaction to a steroid we are taking, we felt it was a good time to remind you all of the dangers of drug use. Now if you'll excuse us, we have some serious scratching to do.

Special Blog Bonus: Speaking of spreading like a plague, this animated map of Walmart's growth across America is pretty interesting. And no, it is not a link to a YouTube video.

1 comment:

Steven R said...

We already knew that Walmart was a disease, now we have a visual representation of it. It's weird how ominous those flickering dots are, especially as they begin to speed up. Several of the bloggers I've seen blog about this have pointed out that the chart almost looks like the spread of cancer. To borrow the analogy even further, I wonder if we've passed the point of no return with Walmart and the cancer has become terminal.