Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Buffalo Wings

Why do buffalo have such tiny wings?

Explanation: As I was eating some buffalo wings the other night, I began to ponder a few important questions. First of all, we've all had buffalo wings. How does a wing that small hold up an animal that weighs more than a thousand pounds? They must be super efficient, which then leads me to wonder what kind of cruel, sick people we are for depriving the buffalo of their amazing wings.

Native Americans were well known for using every part of the buffalo. First of all, how did they catch these flying behemoths? They must have been very efficient hunters. Now, since they used everything, at least we know they made the most of any buffalo they managed to kill. Us? We just pluck their wings off and maybe make "bison burgers" out of some extra meat for exotic restaurants to serve. We must chuck the rest. Very wasteful.

Also, what did Native Americans do with the wings? Did they slather them in their own hot sauce and eat them with blue cheese dressing and celery? (Note that the fancier looking "bleu cheese" came with the French settlers later on.) Did they eat them at bars while they watched lacrosse games? These are important questions! Why isn't this stuff on Wikipedia? Maybe I should check...

Oops. Never mind my questions. Turns out this was all a misunderstanding. My apologies for thinking that Wikipedia wouldn't have all of the information I would possibly need, including mention of Jessica Simpson in their article on buffalo wings.

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