Time Keeps on Slippin'

"Time continues to skip forward randomly, details at 11." (time jump) "This is the news at 11. The mysterious and unexplained…" (time jump) "Turning to entertainment news: Teen singer 'Wendy' might just be the lates…" (time jump) "…won 3 Grammy's last nigh." (time jump) "…was found dead. In her bathtub."

Source: This is a news segment from the Time Keeps on Slippin' episode of Futurama.

Explanation: I TiVoed the Virginia Tech football game last night and started watching it this morning. (At this point I have only seen the first half, so please don't talk to me about it.) Something is flaky about my TiVo, or maybe my cable, because I kept missing little segments of the game. Even more annoyingly, the first incident happened when Maryland was attempting their first field goal. The snap was good. The hold was good. The kick was up... "...ever live without this product. It's amazing technology". I had no idea what happened. The kick was in the air and suddenly I was in a commercial. At first I thought this was an ESPN issue. Then it happened again. And again it was during a Maryland field goal attempt. Again the play started and I was suddenly in a commercial. The only way I knew the result was because the score was different when I got back from commercial. I was certain it was an ESPN issue until it happened during live play as well. At that point, I realized that I had completely missed 2 minutes of broadcast. Then I missed the last 3 minutes before halftime as well.

So, on the bright side, I expect to finish the rest of the game in about half of the normal time. Sure, I'll miss most of it, but at least I can still claim that I went cannon to cannon.

By the way, if you're wondering, "cannon to cannon" is my Virginia Tech football motto. Tech fires off a cannon at the start of the game and at the end of the game. (And for scores in between, but that's not pertinent to my motto.) I watch games cannon to cannon. Start to finish. If we are winning in a blowout, I go cannon to cannon and enjoy every moment of it. If we lose in a blowout, I still sit tight until the final cannon and endure the pain.

I believe the only exception I've ever made to this rule was when my parents came to join me at a VT vs. Akron game in October of 1995. It was absolutely pouring rain on a typically cold fall day in Blacksburg. We left after the third quarter, when Tech's band was substituted into the game for the third string players. Tech went on to win the game 77-27. I would have stayed for the whole thing, except I left in deference to my parents, who were a bit soggier than they were used to being. It only seemed appropriate, seeing as they were paying for me to be there in the first place.