Once Again, The Answer Is...

Nothing says 20 degree fun like running through a sprinkler at 7:00 in the morning.

Explanation: At this point, you're probably wondering what kind of idiot I am to run through a sprinkler at 7:00 in the morning. Actually, if you know me, you might not be asking that question at all.

Last night, I heard a noise in the house. It sounded like a knocking noise, it was very consistent, and I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. After walking around the house a bit and listening, I concluded (uncertainly) that it was coming from the boiler. I felt a bit better having come to a conclusion, but that didn't stop the knocking sound, and I knew the sound wasn't the norm in our house.

As I was getting ready for bed last night, I decided the knocking sound was more like our water system than anything the heating system could generate. Before I fell asleep, I had a small panic attack that I'd wake up to a giant puddle of water somewhere, or worse.

When I woke up, however, I had forgotten the whole ordeal. Our house is always a bit louder in the morning, what with my wife and I getting ready for work and the heating system catching up from a long night of rest. When I came downstairs, though, I noticed two things immediately. First, I saw the front lawn was white. I know it's already been cold this year, but this is the first morning I've actually seen frost. Second, I saw that there was steam coming up from two of the front windows in our house. Naturally, I made no connection between the two.

Knowing it was really cold out, I inspected the windows to see if there was any air leaking from our nice hot house to the cold outside. There was not.

I couldn't let this go. My next theory was that there was a vent from our crawl space under the window (which has a heating duct next to it). So, I ventured outside into the frigid weather to inspect the outside of the house. There I found my answer.

There was a spray of water coming out from somewhere just below the window. It took my mind a few minutes to wrap around how all of the facts were suddenly tied together. We have a spigot on the front of the house with a small hose connection to a splitter, which has two hoses connected to it. Because the spigot is buried behind our bushes, I left the spigot on during the summer and just used the valves on the splitter to turn the hose on and off. It was a great idea for the summer, but not so great in the winter. Last night the water in the connecting hose froze, causing the hose to explode, leaving a wide open spigot to launch water all over the place.

So there I found myself, at 7:00 in the morning, crawling behind icy bushes through a spray of water in 20 degree weather to turn the spigot off. The answer, as always, is "Jeremy, you're an idiot."

Guess I need a new hose now.