Friday, August 29, 2008

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's college football season!

Explanation: That's right! The college football season is underway. I have reason to watch Sportscenter again! It's time for your Jeremy's Status Message Virginia Tech Football Preview!!!

Virginia Tech Football Preview

Offense: Well, last year's ACC champions lost three wide receivers to the draft, and the fourth receiver graduated. Last year's running game was pretty weak, and the starting tailback was kicked off the team for disciplinary reasons. Oh, and two other tailbacks were injured in the spring and got a slow start this fall. The two-headed monster at quarterback is going with only one head, as Tyrod Taylor will be redshirting. Of course, last year he was going to redshirt also until the LSU game, three games into the season. So, the team has no proven weapons. The offensive line, however, should be much better this year, so that's something. Grade: C

Defense: The heart and soul of the defense last year, Xavier Adibi, Vince Hall, and Brandon Flowers, were all drafted, along with two defensive linemen. The defense was pretty deep, though, and should reload again this year, with cornerback Victor "Macho" Harris being the feature player on this side of the ball. Grade: B+

Special Teams: Frankly, I don't care if they send the band out on the field - Frank Beamer always gets and A on special teams. I don't know who's kicking or punting or returning kicks or anything. Doesn't matter. Grade: A

Intangibles: Virginia Tech has spectacular intangibles. You can't quite see them, and they're just out of your grasp, but they are there and they are incredible. You can't find better intangibles if you try. If you could measure the speed of the Virginia Tech intangibles, they'd be really fast. If you could measure the strength of the Virginia Tech intangibles, they'd be really strong. If you could measure the intangibles of the Virginia Tech intangibles, they'd be off the chart. But, you can't, so just trust me on this. They rock. Grade: A+

Language Arts: Jeremy needs to show improvement in his comprehension of poetry, and tends to lose focus while writing long blog entries. Grade: B

Mascot: Our mascot is a giant turkey who does the bench press in the end zone after touchdowns. Who else can say that? Grade: A+

Final Prediction: The team will win more games than they lose, they will cause me more stress than I need, and they will have less players arrested than LSU. Oh, and they'll go to a bowl game for the 16th season in a row.


Jack said...

Thank goodness for a PDR (Personal Digital Recorder i.e. Tivo),which remembered to record all Virginia Tech football games.

Once again I am prepared to sit in agony as VT allows other teams to stay "in the game" when "putting them away" could reduce my stress level. I want to see blow outs!

Go Hokies, beat those Pirates!

Thason Jweatt said...

You know, that bowl streak started with us!

Jeremy said...

I will never forget watching this play:

Tech led the New Year's Eve bowl game by one point (14-13) just before the half, but Indiana was rallying. With 35 seconds left and the ball on the Tech 49, IU quarterback John Paci dropped back to pass and was hit by Hokie defenders George DelRicco and DeWayne Knight. The ball popped loose and eventually bounced into the hands of Tech end Lawrence Lewis who sprinted the final 20 yards to the end zone.

Suddenly, the Tech lead was 21-13 and the Hokies had a big momentum boost going into the locker room. But the half wasn't quite over.

Indiana returned the ensuing kickoff to the Tech 42, then Paci completed a 9-yard pass. The Hokies thought time expired and started trotting off the field. The officials ruled, however, that IU had called timeout with one second remaining.

The Hoosiers lined up for a 51-yard field goal. When the ball was snapped, Tech's Jeff Holland pushed through the line and tipped the kick. The ball caromed in the air and Hokie defensive back Antonio Banks settled under it at the 20. Banks started to his right, then reversed his field as blockers formed. A block by teammate Torrian Gray at the IU 15 cleared the last obstacle and Banks strutted into the end zone untouched with an 80-yard return.

Just like that, the No. 22 Hokies sealed a win in their first bowl appearance of the Frank Beamer era. Tech's 21 points were the most ever scored in the second quarter of the 18-year bowl game.