Thursday, September 11, 2008

Salt Rocks!

Salt is the only rock that you eat.

Source: This "factoid" was actually the opener to one of the most painfully boring tales I've ever heard.

Explanation: A bunch of people at our church went on a weekend retreat where the guest speaker was a "rock enthusiast" or "mineralogist" or something like that.* It was the kind of weekend I wouldn't go near with a ten-foot pole. Then, the following weekend, one poor soul was nominated to stand up in front of the congregation and talk about how wonderful the weekend was. In my opinion, the only thing worse than actually going on that retreat was trying to make it sound interesting to other people. Anyway, she opened her not-so-exciting tale with today's status message, which I will forever associate with those poor folks who went on that retreat.

Counterpoint: Anyone who thinks that salt is the only rock you can eat has never owned a dog.


*I'm sure if you stretch it really hard, you can come up with a good religious explanation for why a church group talked about rocks for an entire weekend, but I think the real reason is that the retreat organizer just had a friend she wanted to bring along and that friend's most unique characteristic was her knowledge of rocks.

5 comments:

Bill said...

Does this mean you ate the dog too ?

Jeremy said...

See, I said "Anyone who thinks that salt is the only rock you can eat has never owned a dog." You're implying that I ate the dog. In order for that to logically follow, the dog would have to be a rock. Now, I've seen dogs that rocked, dogs that ate rocks, and dogs that were dumb as rocks, but I've never seen dogs that were rocks.

Willie Y said...

Haven't you ever heard of Rockweiler.
And maybe the church group should have studied the rocks in the thier collective heads for even going on that exciting outing.

Jeremy said...

Dog Rock in Albany, Australia.

Jack said...

Genesis 19:1-29

23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land.
24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens.
25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land.
26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.


Unknown at the time the above passage was written but recently revealed through in depth research is the fact that Lot’s wife was blind at the time of this incident and was only able to exist in this ancient society with assistance of her faithful companion Douggie. Although previously thought to be a servant, a more accurate translation of the original Aramaic text revealed an error; the correct translation is Doggie (the original salty dog!).