The Battle Wages On

Sorry, Ernie, but you lost. Let's see how Elmo fares.

Explanation: There is a constant battle being waged in our household. It happens all day, every day. It is an epic struggle, and while it is interesting from a distance, on the front lines it is more scary than you could possibly imagine. In a seemingly neverending line, the brave warriors set off, one by one, to face the gravest of dangers all alone. Some emerge with only minor wounds. Some are brutally defeated. None ever returns.

You see, Pampers has a contract with Sesame Street to put their characters on the front of diapers. Those pour souls must do battle with the most foul creations my daughter can muster. Believe me, they are foul. The victorious do not emerge unscathed, they merely contain the damage to the battlefield. The defeated are not so lucky. This morning Ernie lost an epic battle in which several innocent articles of clothing perished as well. Collateral damage from a devastating war. Elmo has been faring well lately. Big Bird has seen mixed results. Cookie Monster? Not good. One thing is certain: My daughter never loses.