Sunlight + Rain^2 = Growth

Our lawn is the only thing around here growing faster than my daughter.

Explanation: I thought my daughter was growing quickly. In less than two months, her bodyweight increased by 50%. That's pretty impressive in my book. She, however, has nothing on my lawn.

My yard (the back in particular) tends to be wet.* My normal rule of thumb is that I need two dry days in a row before I even bother trying to mow. Unfortunately, this time of year does not afford me two dry days in a row EVER. Just ask my poor grill, which hasn't been dry enough to cover for the past week. I'm thinking about going out there with a blow dryer. But I digress.

The lawn is now taller than any respectable homeowner's lawn should ever be, and yet it is still too wet out there to mow. Even worse is that the dandelions out there are growing twice as fast as the grass. In one week, since I last mowed, I have had a few dandelions grow to about a foot tall. At that rate, I think you could actually sit outside and see them growing. Give them some acne and a voice that cracks all the time and it would be just like looking back in time at myself in high school.

*Ironically, my daughter (the back in particular) also tends to be wet.