Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Double Your Vision, Double Your Fun

Mondays suck.
  Mondays suck.

Explanation: Yes, I know it's Wednesday. Before I continue, I should take a moment to introduce a special guest who I ran into at the post office over the weekend.

Is that my cue? Should I say something witty now?

Yes, that's right! On vacation from Evil Jeremy's blag, it's that guy who always talks in italics!

Technically, I'm not on vacation. It's called "Evil Take Time" and I get two weeks of evil time off at one-third the evil pay.

Wow, that sounds like a great deal. We at Jeremy's Status Message are happy that you're spending your extra time with us.

Well, the corporate email did suggest doing charity work...

Good, because you're not getting paid for this. Anyway, back to my story. This past Saturday, I started to feel like my vision was a little bit off. My eyes were both focusing fine individually, but when looking far to my left or right, I noticed that they weren't playing together as nicely as they should. On Sunday it got a little worse. By Monday, I was even seeing double at times. One particularly bad moment, I was trying to merge onto a busy highway. I could close one eye and see perfectly, but depth perception is pretty important when merging.

Today's status message is simply a visual representation of how I would have seen the words "Mondays suck" while also describing how the day went.

I saw a doctor. Apparently a nerve in my right eye isn't working properly. He ordered some lab tests and wants to see me again in two weeks, but in the meantime, should I have a double vision issue again he suggested that I simply close one eye.

Didn't you just say that you already knew that?

Yep. That was a hundred bucks well spent. Double vision sucks.

Well, at least your day wasn't a total waste - Didn't you mention something about seeing the Olsen twins?

It turned out to just be a parking meter.

Bummer. Hey, can we talk about toasters now?

Not now. Maybe tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

LIR!!! How I've missed your sarcastic witty insights. Maybe Other Jeremy will bring you back a baguette.

Willie Y said...

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