In the Clutches of the Diabolical Sgt. Stiletto

Only you can save Bon Jovi from eternal damnation.

Source: This is something Special J says on the 2 Skinnee J's live album, Return of the Furious Dragon. It's not a song lyric, he just throws it in during the live performance of In the Clutches of the Diabolical Sgt. Stiletto.

Who knew?

Explanation: Honestly, the line doesn't make too much sense to me. In fact, the whole song has always been somewhat confusing. Sgt. Stiletto is a bad person. Very very bad. Like "Devil" bad. That's all I can really tell you.

Anyway, for some reason, this line got stuck in my head last night and I thought it would make a fun status message. I actually had to dig through the whole album to remember what song this was from.

Special Blog Bonus: Here are the song lyrics for your perusal, followed by a performance from the 7/18/03 2 Skinnee J's farewell show at B.B. King's in New York City. (I'm the tall guy in the back.) Maybe it'll make more sense to you. Don't worry, though. I think Bon Jovi is safe.

The scent of danger brings me to the edge of panic
Now I’m caught in the plot that was thought up
Satanic like mayo – dayo- daylight comes
And I want to get home before I’m burnt by the sun
I wanna be free in peace love and harmony
But my Miranda be vanishing like Carmen see
Check the scripture a picture emerges
Bells chime at the twelfth sign of the seven scourges
And the first is the sleeper steeped in the force
Of the dark side astride behold a pale horse
And the source be above the law like Segal
The thought of his stare raise my hair like Vidal
Now he stalks where I walk, setting soldiers at the border
And hopes to catch Guevara acing out of order
“Cause I eat a fool like Ozzy eats a bat
And the fact is I was kidnapped, thrown in the back
Of the unmarked van destination unknown
In league with the intrigue a la Oliver Stone
for starting revolutions 33 1/3
“You’re mine now,” was all I heard
In the jurisdiction mark the prediction
‘Cause the truth's stranger than fiction
from the get go the watcher says so
beware Sgt. Stiletto

J Guevara takes the 5th to those who would drag me under
Like coyote to roadrunner
Now the population faces incarceration while select serpents reach certain circles of illumination
Looking over my shoulder, I’m seeing shadows on the walls
I'm turning pallid at the thought of the gallows seven gables
Loom before me can’t neglect the connection
Seven are the signs of the cross on the pendulum
Stiletto, the name of the nemesis
Guevara, I'm trapped in the labyrinth
Assassins be passing me and I amongst their midst
Before my name is known I slip into the mist
I exist, the specialist, who persists
To vent the secret entrance I decipher the hieroglyphs
Tada! The creaking floor reveals a door
Voila! I emerge into the crypt
In the jurisdiction mark the prediction
‘Cause the truth's stranger than fiction
from the get go the watcher says so
beware Sgt. Stiletto

Now I'm strapped to the rack and the terror’s on
Damn I feel like the man from the marathon
I gotta bust out or I’m dusted like Hoffman
I feel like the Minnow, <expletive deleted> I’m lost
My little keys unlock mysteries unknown
I roam his catacombs like Jones
I float like a butterfly, seek revenge like Khan
And I’ve got dreams of scenes beyond like Papillion
I’m making a date with the undertaker
As Stiletto sends me off to meet my maker
I charge past the guards, I come like Kool Aid
Then I bust through the wall like Big Jim Slade

You flip the switch and you fall for the trap
Your friends have fallen in and you can’t get ‘em back
There’s a dragon underground, you heard the bellow
Beware Sgt. Stiletto
In the jurisdiction mark the prediction
‘Cause the truth's stranger than fiction
from the get go the watcher says so
beware...