From the archives:
Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order though.
Source: This is a gem from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't really have much to say today, but hopefully pondering the quote should keep you busy for a while.
From the archives:
On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was much more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much, the wheel, New York, wars, and so on- while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man- for precisely the same reasons.
Source: Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Explanation: If you've read it, good. If you haven't you should. See, I'm a poet... and I know it.
From the archives:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Source: This was a bumper sticker I saw online.
Special Blog Bonus: An exerpt from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.
This is a complete record of its thought from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended.
Ah...! What's happening? it thought.
Er, excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What's my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now... oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It's sort of... yawning, tingling sensation in my... my... well, I suppose I'd better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let's call it my stomach.
Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that... wind! Is that a good name? It'll do... perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it's for. It must be something very important, because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What's this thing? This... let's call it a tail - yeah, tail. Hey! I can really thrash it about pretty good, can't I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn't seem to achieve very much but I'll probably find out what it's for later on. Now, have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I'm quite dizzy with anticipation...
Or is it the wind?
There really is a lot of that now, isn't there?
And wow! Hey! What's this thing suddenly coming toward me very fast? Very, very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide-sounding name like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?
And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.
"My favourite piece of information is that Branwell Brontë, brother of Emily and Charlotte, died standing up leaning against a mantelpiece, in order to prove it could be done. This is not quite true, in fact. My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees."
Source: Douglas Adams from The Salmon of Doubt.
"You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while."
Source: Douglas Adams from The Salmon of Doubt.
Explanation: The author was just clarifying this point for children. Seemed like a good message, today being Good Friday and Sunday being Easter with the eggs and whatnot. Of course, if your Easter eggs are already hard-boiled, you should not even bother trying to fry them. If you're Jewish, you might have leftover hard-boiled eggs from Passover*, but you can't fry them, either. In fact, you probably don't want to eat them at all, since they're getting pretty old. If you're Canadian and you like your French fries, you might say "Good Fries, eh?" which is not to be confused with "Good Friday." Christians celebrate one as the day their Lord and Savior was crucified. The other is a nice side for a hamburger or fried fish accompanied by a bizarre Canadian tendency to end all questions with the sound "eh." Big difference there, too. Also, you have to be careful about the Ice Cube and Chris Tucker movie "Friday," especially if you liked it. I'll save that lesson for another day.
Special Blog Bonus: Speaking of Easter and chickens, here's a Family Guy clip:
The following is the scene that precedes that clip. Nothing to do with anything, but I think it's one of the best Family Guy scenes ever.
*It is also worth mentioning that the original Good Friday fell on Passover, while good fried eggs falling on Passover can pretty much ruin your seder, leading to a bad Friday, should Passover happen to fall on that day.
Today you will meet a three-ton rhinoceros called Desmond.
Source: The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams.
Explanation: This was Dirk Gently's horoscope. Here's a larger exerpt:
"He even consulted his own horoscope in one of the papers, the one written by a disreputable friend of his who toiled unscrupulously under the name of The Great Zaganza. First he glanced at some of the entries under other birth signs, just to get a feel for the kind of mood the GZ was in. Mellow, it seemed, at first sight. ‘Your ability to take the long view will help you through some of the minor difficulties you experience when Mercury...’, ‘Past weeks have strained your patience, but new possibilities will now start to emerge as the sun...’, ‘Beware of allowing others to take advantage of your good nature. Resolve will be especially called for when...’. Boring, humdrum stuff. He read his own horoscope. ‘Today you will meet a three-ton rhinoceros called Desmond.’”
