Hi Ho the Merri-O!

The hills are alive with the sound of chicken.

Source: This is a lyric from the 2 Skinnee J's song Meadowblaster. At the end of the song, before the last chorus of "the J's in the dell", the band just keeps repeating "the hills are alive with the sound of chicken." I'm not totally sure what that means, but I'm thinking the chickens are about to rebel...

Explanation: I don't think I could possibly explain this song. Instead, I'll just give you the lyrics:

The J's in the dell
The J's in the dell
Hi ho the merrio the J's in the dell
Old Skinnee J had a farm E-I-O
Planted breeds of the seeds and I heed to watch them grow
Frrom knee high to sky high body and in spirit
Here a rhyme there a rhyme everywhere a lyric
Our delivery is candid with band-aid adhesion
Made it through the changes weathered all the seasons
Now it is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer 2 Skinnee is the magic number
And I wonder awake from your slumber
The blindfold around your mind and soul is torn asunder
So you wake up to greet the day
It's the dawn in the house of J

Well I'm an international harvester so here's a harbinger of things to come
Emerge the one Special J that's prehensile
I've been wrestled from my nestle on the vessel of the wind swept plain
To obtain my weight in grain
It's the cycle of the seasons and here we go again
We how rows with our flows as we sows all we knows
Into grooves and furrows using bulls and burroughs
Storing all we've grown in a mile high silo
Laying claim to our domain with our deeds and titles
I kneel to idols to grow my pastures faster
That's how it is with the old meadowblaster

Reaping props like crops and sowing rhymes like seeds
We're springing like the chicken and we're stinging like bees
Wee wee wee like the piggy heading all the way home
It's the leaders of the sheep and like the cheese I stand alone
And I get down like the rain on the plain for sure
So God damn this you're not in Kansas anymore
Do you dare go where a scarecrow will slay a witch
And the hills are alive with the sound of chickens

Vacation Day

Vacation Day Today - Be Back on Monday

Special Blog Bonus: Who started the fight, the chicken or the egg?

Bounce, Tigger! Bounce!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things.

Source: This is, of course, the first line of the Tiggers song. Here's some more:

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things!
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs!
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is
I'm the only one!

Explanation: This weekend my neice received (among other things) a "Turbo Tail Tigger" for her second birthday. Turbo Tail Tigger is the closest an inanimate object can possibly be to AD/HD. It bounces up and down, singing the Tigger song:



Personally, I think Turbo Tail Tigger would fit in quite nicely at a 2 Skinnee J's concert. He's got the bounce down perfectly.

Special Blog Bonus: Sure, Turbo Tail Tigger might wear on you after a while, but at least it's not a screaming chicken:

It's Not Just For Weddings and Bar Mitzvahs Anymore

Dadadadadadada dadadadadadada dadadadadadada clap clap clap clap

Source: This would be the chicken dance.

Explanation: See, every once in a while, I like to post music in text form and see if anybody has any idea what on earth I'm talking about. Usually (as with anything else I post) the answer is no. Not sure how to do it? Here's an instructional video:



At this point, I should probably mention that this is the most addictive song known to man and that if you've watched this video, your Christmas is now ruined in a giant puddle of accordian music. Happy Holidays!

Special Blog Bonus: It's a Chicken Dance-Off!

Let's Thank Our Sponsors

This message is brought to you by the letters B and X, and by the number 3.

Explanation: I was feeling very Sesame Street this morning*. What can I say? Plus, I've found that X, especially, is a great sponsor. Remember that television show it sponsored with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson? Big budget all the way. B is pretty much the opposite, but we welcome any sponsorship we can get.

Special Blog Bonus: While I'm on a muppet theme, please enjoy the muppet chickens playing piano:



*Elmo is your leader.

CHICKEN FIGHT!

From the archives:

NO! I won't take a coupon from a giant chicken! Not after last time...

Source: Peter from the Family Guy

Explanation: I've actually already posted the first two chicken fights from Family Guy. Enjoy the third installment:

Fridays and Fried Eggs

"You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while."

Source: Douglas Adams from The Salmon of Doubt.

Explanation: The author was just clarifying this point for children. Seemed like a good message, today being Good Friday and Sunday being Easter with the eggs and whatnot. Of course, if your Easter eggs are already hard-boiled, you should not even bother trying to fry them. If you're Jewish, you might have leftover hard-boiled eggs from Passover*, but you can't fry them, either. In fact, you probably don't want to eat them at all, since they're getting pretty old. If you're Canadian and you like your French fries, you might say "Good Fries, eh?" which is not to be confused with "Good Friday." Christians celebrate one as the day their Lord and Savior was crucified. The other is a nice side for a hamburger or fried fish accompanied by a bizarre Canadian tendency to end all questions with the sound "eh." Big difference there, too. Also, you have to be careful about the Ice Cube and Chris Tucker movie "Friday," especially if you liked it. I'll save that lesson for another day.

Special Blog Bonus: Speaking of Easter and chickens, here's a Family Guy clip:



The following is the scene that precedes that clip. Nothing to do with anything, but I think it's one of the best Family Guy scenes ever.



*It is also worth mentioning that the original Good Friday fell on Passover, while good fried eggs falling on Passover can pretty much ruin your seder, leading to a bad Friday, should Passover happen to fall on that day.

Now We Know Why It Crossed the Road

"Let me understand. You've got the hen, the chicken, and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?"

Source: Frank Costanza from Seinfeld at a dinner table with George's future inlaws shortly after meeting them for the first time.

Explanation: I got a phone call the other day from someone asking me to help settle an argument about a very similar topic involving chickens, hens, and eggs.



Editor's Note: Jeremy's Status Message promises to get no more risqué than chicken sex. This is the worst you'll see. We promise. You can trust us.