No Quiero Taco Bell

Curse you, Taco Bell!

Explanation: Yesterday I decided to splurge during my lunch break from the court case and went over to Taco Bell again. This particular Taco Bell has a three-step ordering process - first you order at the giant menu, then you pay at the first window, then you pick up your food at the second window.

I placed my order for a #1 Combo. That's a burrito and a taco. When I pulled up to the first window to pay, the woman asked me if I would like any sauce with my order. Well, I was getting one taco so I wanted one packet of hot sauce. Since it clearly didn't get through last time, I made a big deal of it this time. I said, "I only need one packet of hot sauce. Just one. Last time I got twenty and I'm sick of throwing them out." She laughed and leaned over to yell something to the person at the other window. I assume she was explaining my request, but I could not totally hear because the window shut. Next, I completed my payment and she gave me one of those random survey slips where I can call and have a chance at winning $1000. I've never gotten one of those from Taco Bell before.

Anyway, I get to the second window, they give me my food and drink, and I'm on my way. I glanced in the bag, but didn't see any sauce, which I thought meant that there was only a single packet hidden in there somewhere.

When I returned to the courthouse, I opened up my bag, and to my surprise, there were three Supreme tacos in there. That wasn't my order. Not only was that not my order, but for three tacos, I would want three packets of Hot Sauce, not just one. How many packets were in the bag? Zero.

I'm going to enjoy taking this survey.

Run For the Border

And the eternal dance of the taco sauce continues...

Explanation: You think I'd learn, but I never do. I went to the Taco Bell drive-through the other day and ordered a #6 combo - that's two chalupas and a taco. I like the Baja chalupas as they are, because they have their own sauce on them, but I do like to add a little something to the taco. That little something is a single packet of Taco Bell Hot Sauce. That's it. That's all I need.

So, after I placed my order, the nice lady asked, "Would you like Hot, Mild, or Fire Sauce with that?" I responded the same way I always do: "Yes, I would like ONE packet of Hot Sauce." Then I drove through to pick up my order and sure enough, it contains 67 packets of Taco Bell Hot Sauce. Seriously. There was more volume occupied in my bag from taco sauce than there is from food. It's ridiculous. You think I would learn and just give up on the taco sauce, but I don't.

It's kind of like at Subway when I say "I would like a little lettuce and a LOT of tomato" and the person proceeds to slather on the lettuce and then gives me a whopping 3 slices of tomato. I think they're required to ask the question, but they aren't required to care about the response.

Anyway, should you ever visit my house and open up that one kitchen cabinet, and have millions of packets of Taco Bell Hot Sauce fall on your head, now you know why they're there. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sheldon Speaks

Ladies and gentlemen, honored daughters, while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivety has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you.

Source: Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.

Explanation: The university recruits a child prodigy who is smarter than Sheldon. Sheldon decides it is pointless to continue his research and looks to assist his friends with their work. His friends successfully conspire to derail the prodigy (Mr. Kim) in order to get Sheldon off their back. As always, hilarity ensues.

Also from this episode:



Special Blog Bonus: What is that you're wearing? It's intoxicating...

Happy Corona Day!

From the archives:

Joyeux cinq de Mai!

Explanation: Today is May 5th. El Cinco de Mayo. It's a Mexican holiday! And my message is in French!!! Why am I explaining this???

Double Special Blog Bonus: A Taco Bell commercial AND an armadillo in a sombrero. What a great day! Enjoy your Corona!