Gene Simmons Never Had a Personal Computer When He Was a Kid

From the archives:

Gene Simmons never had a personal computer when he was a kid. How do we know? We know because our own well-documented research has shown conclusively that a child who lacks his own personal computer during those earliest school years will very probably grow up to be a bass player in a heavy-metal rock band who wears women's fishnet pantyhose and sticks his tongue down to his kneecaps. Just like Gene Simmons. Your child's future doesn't have to look like this. The Banana Junior 6000 Self-portable Personal Computer System, complete with its optional software Bananawrite, Bananadraw, Bananafile, and Bananamanager is just what your four-year-old needs to compete in today's cut-throat world of high tech and high expectations. The Banana Junior 6000... Buy one before it's too late. Gene's mother wishes she had.

Source: This was taken directly from Bloom County:


In fact, now that I think about it, I have no idea why Bloom County hasn't made an appearance here before. Look for more in the future.